The wishful memory of interpersonal responsiveness

Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

Volumn 104, Issue 4, 2013, Pages 653-672

  Lemay, Edward P ^a   Neal, Angela M ^a  

^a UNIVERSITY OF NEW HAMPSHIRE   (United States)

Author keywords

Bias; Interpersonal relationships; Memory; Responsiveness; Trust

Indexed keywords

ADULT; ARTICLE; COURTSHIP; CULTURAL ANTHROPOLOGY; FANTASY; FEMALE; HUMAN; HUMAN RELATION; MALE; MARRIAGE; MOTIVATION; PSYCHOLOGICAL ASPECT; RECALL; SEXUALITY; TRUST;

ADULT; COURTSHIP; CULTURE; FANTASY; FEMALE; HUMANS; INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS; MALE; MARRIAGE; MENTAL RECALL; MOTIVATION; SEXUAL PARTNERS; TRUST; YOUNG ADULT;

EID: 84880981055     PISSN: 00223514     EISSN: None     Source Type: Journal    
DOI: 10.1037/a0030422     Document Type: Article

References (94)

1. Ames, D. R. (2004). Inside the mind reader's tool kit: Projection and stereotyping in mental state inference. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 87, 340-353. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.87.3.340
2. Arriaga, X. B., Reed, J. T., Goodfriend, W., & Agnew, C. R. (2006). Relationship perceptions and persistence: Do fluctuations in perceived partner commitment undermine dating relationships? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91, 1045-1065. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.91 .6.1045
3. Baldwin, M. W., Keelan, J. P. R., Fehr, B., Enns, V., & Koh-Rangarajoo, E. (1996). Social- cognitive conceptualization of attachment working models: Availability and accessibility effects. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 71, 94-109. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.71.1.94
4. Bargh, J. A., Gollwitzer, P. M., Lee-Chai, A., Barndollar, K., & Trötschel, R. (2001). The automated will: Nonconscious activation and pursuit of behavioral goals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 81, 1014-1027. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.81.6.1014
5. Baumeister, R. F., Bratslavsky, E., Finkenauer, C., & Vohs, K. D. (2001). Bad is stronger than good. Review of General Psychology, 5, 323-370. doi:10.1037/1089-2680.5.4.323
6. Baumeister, R. F., Wotman, S. R., & Stillwell, A. M. (1993). Unrequited love: On heartbreak, anger, guilt, scriptlessness, and humiliation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64, 377-394. doi:10.1037/ 0022-3514.64.3.377
7. Bluck, S., & Alea, N. (2002). Exploring the functions of autobiographical memory: Why do I remember the autumn. In J. D. Webster & B. K. Haight (Eds.), Critical advances in reminiscence work (pp. 61-75). New York, NY: Springer.
8. Bodenhausen, G. V. (1990). Stereotypes as judgmental heuristics: Evidence of circadian variations in discrimination. Psychological Science, 1, 319-322. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9280.1990.tb00226.x
9. Caprariello, P. A., & Reis, H. T. (2011). Perceived partner responsiveness minimizes defensive reactions to failure. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2, 365-372. doi:10.1177/1948550610391914
10. Christensen, T. C., Wood, J. V., & Barrett, L. F. (2003). Remembering everyday experience through the prism of self-esteem. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 29, 51-62. doi:10.1177/0146167202238371
11. Clark, M. S., & Grote, N. K. (1998). Why aren't indices of relationship costs always negatively related to indices of relationship quality? Personality and Social Psychology Review, 2, 2-17. doi:10.1207/ s15327957pspr0201_1
12. Clark, M. S., & Lemay, E. P., Jr. (2010). Close relationships. In S. T. Fiske, D. T. Gilbert, & G. Lindzey (Eds.), Handbook of social psychology (5th ed., Vol. 2, pp. 898-940). New York, NY: Wiley.
13. Collins, N. L., & Feeney, B. C. (2000). A safe haven: An attachment theory perspective on support seeking and caregiving in intimate relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78, 1053-1073. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.78.6.1053
14. Collins, N. L., & Feeney, B. C. (2004). Working models of attachment shape perceptions of social support: Evidence from experimental and observational studies. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 87, 363-383. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.87.3.363
15. Cook, W. L. (2000). Understanding attachment security in family context. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78, 285-294. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.78.2.285
16. Downey, G., & Feldman, S. I. (1996). Implications of rejection sensitivity for intimate relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70, 1327-1343. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.70.6.1327
17. Downey, G., Freitas, A. L., Michaelis, B., & Khouri, H. (1998). The self-fulfilling prophecy in close relationships: Rejection sensitivity and rejection by romantic partners. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75, 545-560. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.75.2.545
18. Dykas, M. J., & Cassidy, J. (2011). Attachment and the processing of social information across the life span: Theory and evidence. Psychological Bulletin, 137, 19-46. doi:10.1037/a0021367
19. Eagly, A. H., Kulesa, P., Chen, S., & Chaiken, S. (2001). Do attitudes affect memory? Tests of the congeniality hypothesis. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 10, 5-9. doi:10.1111/1467-8721.00102
20. Enders, C. K., & Tofighi, D. (2007). Centering predictor variables in cross-sectional multilevel models: A new look at an old issue. Psychological Methods, 12, 121-138. doi:10.1037/1082-989X.12.2.121
21. Feeney, B. C. (2007). The dependency paradox in close relationships: Accepting dependence promotes independence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92, 268-285. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.92.2.268
22. Feeney, B. C., & Cassidy, J. (2003). Reconstructive memory related to adolescent-parent conflict interactions: The influence of attachmentrelated representations on immediate perceptions and changes in perceptions over time. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85, 945-955. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.85.5.945
23. Fehr, E., Fischbacher, U., & Gächter, S. (2002). Strong reciprocity, human cooperation, and the enforcement of social norms. Human Nature, 13, 1-25. doi:10.1007/s12110-002-1012-7
24. Fletcher, G. J. O., Simpson, J. A., & Thomas, G. (2000). The measurement of perceived relationship quality components: A confirmatory factor analytic approach. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 26, 340- 354. doi:10.1177/0146167200265007
25. Fraley, R. C., Heffernan, M. E., Vicary, A. M., & Brumbaugh, C. C. (2011). The Experiences in Close Relationships-Relationship Structures Questionnaire: A method for assessing attachment orientations across relationships. Psychological Assessment, 23, 615- 625. doi: 10.1037/a0022898
26. Fraley, R. C., Waller, N. G., & Brennan, K. A. (2000). An item response theory analysis of self-report measures of adult attachment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78, 350-365. doi:10.1037/0022- 3514.78.2.350
27. Gagné, F. M., & Lydon, J. E. (2004). Bias and accuracy in close relationships: An integrative review. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 8, 322-338. doi:10.1207/s15327957pspr0804_1
28. Gintis, H. (2000). Strong reciprocity and human sociality. Journal of Theoretical Biology, 206, 169-179. doi:10.1006/jtbi.2000.2111
29. Govorun, O., & Payne, B. K. (2006). Ego-Depletion and prejudice: Separating automatic and controlled components. Social Cognition, 24, 111-136. doi:10.1521/soco.2006.24.2.111
30. Green, J. D., Sedikides, C., Pinter, B., & Van Tongeren, D. R. (2009). Two sides to self-protection: Self-improvement strivings and feedback from close relationships eliminate mnemic neglect. Self and Identity, 8, 233- 250. doi:10.1080/15298860802505145
31. Greenwald, A. G. (1980). The totalitarian ego: Fabrication and revision of personal history. American Psychologist, 35, 603-618. doi:10.1037/ 0003-066X.35.7.603
32. Halford, W. K., Keefer, E., & Osgarby, S. M. (2002). "How has the week been for you two?" Relationship satisfaction and hindsight memory biases in couples' reports of relationship events. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 26, 759-773. doi:10.1023/A:1021289400436
33. Haselton, M. G., & Nettle, D. (2006). The paranoid optimist: An integrative evolutionary model of cognitive biases. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 10, 47-66. doi:10.1207/s15327957pspr1001_3
34. Higgins, E. T., & Bargh, J. A. (1987). Social cognition and social perception. Annual Review of Psychology, 38, 369-425. doi:10.1146/annurev .ps.38.020187.002101
35. Higgins, E. T., King, G. A., & Mavin, G. H. (1982). Individual construct accessibility and subjective impressions and recall. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 43, 35-47. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.43.1.35
36. Holmes, J. G., & Rempel, J. K. (1989). Trust in close relationships. In C. Hendrick (Ed.), Close relationships (pp. 187-220). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
37. Johnson, D. J., & Rusbult, C. E. (1989). Resisting temptation: Devaluation of alternative partners as a means of maintaining commitment in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 57, 967- 980. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.57.6.967
38. Jose, A., Rajaram, S., O'Leary, K. D., & Williams, M. C. (2010). Memory for partner-related stimuli: Free recall and frequency estimation. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 27, 658 - 670. doi:10.1177/ 0265407510369144
39. Jost, J. T., Banaji, M. R., & Nosek, B. A. (2004). A decade of system justification theory: Accumulated evidence of conscious and unconscious bolstering of the status quo. Political Psychology, 25, 881-919. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9221.2004.00402.x
40. Karney, B. R., & Coombs, R. H. (2000). Memory bias in long-term close relationships: Consistency or improvement? Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 26, 959-970. doi:10.1177/01461672002610006
41. Kelley, H. H., Holmes, J. G., Kerr, N. L., Reis, H. T., Rusbult, C. E., & Van Lange, P. A. M. (2003). An atlas of interpersonal situations. New York, NY: Cambridge University Press.
42. Kenny, D. A., & Acitelli, L. K. (2001). Accuracy and bias in the perception of the partner in a close relationship. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80, 439-448. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.80.3.439
43. Kenny, D. A., Bond, C. F., Jr., Mohr, C. D., & Horn, E. M. (1996). Do we know how much people like one another? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 71, 928-936. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.71.5.928
44. Kunda, Z. (1990). The case for motivated reasoning. Psychological Bulletin, 108, 480-498. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.108.3.480
45. Lakey, B., McCabe, K. M., Fisicaro, S. A., & Drew, J. B. (1996). Environmental and personal determinants of support perceptions: Three generalizability studies. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70, 1270-1280. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.70.6.1270
46. Laurenceau, J.-P., Barrett, L. F., & Pietromonaco, P. R. (1998). Intimacy as an interpersonal process: The importance of self-disclosure, partner disclosure, and perceived partner responsiveness in interpersonal exchanges. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 1238-1251. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.74.5.1238
47. Leary, M. R., & Baumeister, R. F. (2000). The nature and function of self-esteem: Sociometer theory. In M. P. Zanna (Ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology (Vol. 32, pp. 1-62). San Diego, CA: Academic Press.
48. Leary, M. R., Springer, C., Negel, L., Ansell, E., & Evans, K. (1998). The causes, phenomenology, and consequences of hurt feelings. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 1225-1237. doi:10.1037/0022- 3514.74.5.1225
49. Lemay, E. P., Jr., & Clark, M. S. (2008). How the head liberates the heart: Projection of communal responsiveness guides relationship promotion. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 94, 647- 671. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.94.4.647
50. Lemay, E. P., Jr., & Clark, M. S. (2009). Self-esteem and communal responsiveness toward a flawed partner: The fair-weather care of lowself- esteem individuals. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 35, 698-712. doi:10.1177/0146167209332964
51. Lemay, E. P., Jr., Clark, M. S., & Feeney, B. C. (2007). Projection of responsiveness to needs and the construction of satisfying communal relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92, 834- 853. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.92.5.834
52. Lemay, E. P., Jr., Clark, M. S., & Greenberg, A. (2010). What is beautiful is good because what is beautiful is desired: Physical attractiveness stereotyping as projection of interpersonal goals. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 36, 339-353. doi:10.1177/0146167209359700
53. Lemay, E. P., Jr., Overall, N. C., & Clark, M. S. (in press). Experiences and interpersonal consequences of hurt feelings and anger. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
54. Maisel, N. C., Gable, S. L., & Strachman, A. M. Y. (2008). Responsive behaviors in good times and in bad. Personal Relationships, 15, 317- 338. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.2008.00201.x
55. McDonald, H. E., & Hirt, E. R. (1997). When expectancy meets desire: Motivational effects in reconstructive memory. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 72, 5-23. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.72.1.5
56. McFarland, C., & Ross, M. (1987). The relation between current impressions and memories of self and dating partners. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 13, 228-238. doi:10.1177/0146167287132008
57. Mills, J., Clark, M. S., Ford, T. E., & Johnson, M. (2004). Measurement of communal strength. Personal Relationships, 11, 213-230. doi:10.1111/ j.1475-6811.2004.00079.x
58. Murray, S. L., Bellavia, G. M., Rose, P., & Griffin, D. W. (2003). Once hurt, twice hurtful: How perceived regard regulates daily marital interactions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84, 126-147. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.84.1.126
59. Murray, S. L., & Holmes, J. G. (1993). Seeing virtues in faults: Negativity and the transformation of interpersonal narratives in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 65, 707-722. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.65.4.707
60. Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G., & Collins, N. L. (2006). Optimizing assurance: The risk regulation system in relationships. Psychological Bulletin, 132, 641-666. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.132.5.641
61. Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G., & Griffin, D. W. (1996). The benefits of positive illusions: Idealization and the construction of satisfaction in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70, 79-98. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.70.1.79
62. Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G., & Griffin, D. W. (2000). Self-esteem and the quest for felt security: How perceived regard regulates attachment processes. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78, 478-498. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.78.3.478
63. Overall, N. C., & Sibley, C. G. (2008). When accommodation matters: Situational dependency within daily interactions with romantic partners. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 44, 95-104. doi:10.1016/j .jesp.2007.02.005
64. Pierce, T., & Lydon, J. E. (2001). Global and specific relational models in the experience of social interactions. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80, 613-631. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.80.4.613
65. Pillemer, D. B. (2009). Twenty years after Baddeley (1988): Is the study of autobiographical memory fully functional? Applied Cognitive Psychology, 23, 1193-1208.
66. Reis, H. T., Clark, M. S., & Holmes, J. G. (2004). Perceived partner responsiveness as an organizing construct in the study of intimacy and closeness. In D. J. Mashek & A. P. Aron (Eds.), Handbook of closeness and intimacy (pp. 201-225). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.
67. Reis, H. T., & Shaver, P. (1988). Intimacy as an interpersonal process. In S. Duck, D. F. Hay, S. E. Hobfoll, & W. Ickes (Eds.), Handbook of personal relationships: Theory, research, and interventions (pp. 367- 389). Oxford, England: Wiley.
68. Rempel, J. K., Holmes, J. G., & Zanna, M. P. (1985). Trust in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 49, 95-112. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.49.1.95
69. Rholes, W. S., Riskind, J. H., & Lane, J. W. (1987). Emotional states and memory biases: Effects of cognitive priming and mood. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 91-99. doi:10.1037/0022-3514 .52.1.91
70. Rosenberg, M. (1965). Society and the adolescent self-image. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.
71. Ross, M. (1989). Relation of implicit theories to the construction of personal histories. Psychological Review, 96, 341-357. doi:10.1037/ 0033-295X.96.2.341
72. Ross, M., McFarland, C., Conway, M., & Zanna, M. P. (1983). Reciprocal relation between attitudes and behavior recall: Committing people to newly formed attitudes. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 45, 257-267. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.45.2.257
73. Rozin, P., & Royzman, E. B. (2001). Negativity bias, negativity dominance, and contagion. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 5, 296-320. doi:10.1207/S15327957PSPR0504_2
74. Rusbult, C. E. (1980). Commitment and satisfaction in romantic associations: A test of the investment model. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 16, 172-186. doi:10.1016/0022-1031(80)90007-4
75. Rusbult, C. E., & Buunk, B. P. (1993). Commitment processes in close relationships: An interdependence analysis. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 10, 175-204. doi:10.1177/026540759301000202
76. Rusbult, C. E., Lange, P. A. M. V., Wildschut, T., Yovetich, N. A., & Verette, J. (2000). Perceived superiority in close relationships: Why it exists and persists. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 79, 521-545. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.79.4.521
77. Rusbult, C. E., Martz, J. M., & Agnew, C. R. (1998). The investment model scale: Measuring commitment level, satisfaction level, quality of alternatives, and investment size. Personal Relationships, 5, 357-387. doi:10.1111/j.1475-6811.1998.tb00177.x
78. Rusbult, C. E., Verette, J., Whitney, G. A., Slovik, L. F., & Lipkus, I. (1991). Accommodation processes in close relationships: Theory and preliminary empirical evidence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 60, 53-78. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.60.1.53
79. Sanitioso, R., Kunda, Z., & Fong, G. T. (1990). Motivated recruitment of autobiographical memories. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59, 229-241. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.59.2.229
80. Sedikides, C., Campbell, W. K., Reeder, G. D., & Elliot, A. J. (1998). The self-serving bias in relational context. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 378-386. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.74.2.378
81. Sedikides, C., & Green, J. D. (2000). On the self-protective nature of inconsistency-negativity management: Using the person memory paradigm to examine self-referent memory. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 79, 906-922. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.79.6.906
82. Sedikides, C., & Green, J. D. (2004). What I don't recall can't hurt me: Information negativity versus information inconsistency as determinants of memorial self-defense. Social Cognition, 22, 4-29. doi:10.1521/soco .22.1.4.30987
83. Shaver, P. R., Mikulincer, M., Lavy, S., & Cassidy, J. (2009). Understanding and altering hurt feelings: An attachment-theoretical perspective on the generation and regulation of emotions. In A. Vangelisti (Ed.), Feeling hurt in close relationships (pp. 92-120). New York, NY: Cambridge University Press. doi:10.1017/CBO9780511770548.007
84. Simpson, J. A. (1990). Influence of attachment styles on romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59, 971-980. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.59.5.971
85. Simpson, J. A. (2007a). Foundations of interpersonal trust. In A. W. Kruglanski & E. T. Higgins (Eds.), Social psychology: Handbook of basic principles (2nd ed., pp. 587-607). New York, NY: Guilford Press.
86. Simpson, J. A. (2007b). Psychological foundations of trust. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 16, 264-268. doi:10.1111/j.1467- 8721.2007.00517.x
87. Simpson, J. A., Ickes, W., & Blackstone, T. (1995). When the head protects the heart: Empathic accuracy in dating relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69, 629-641. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.69.4 .629
88. Simpson, J. A., Rholes, W. S., & Phillips, D. (1996). Conflict in close relationships: An attachment perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 71, 899-914. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.71.5.899
89. Simpson, J. A., Rholes, W. S., & Winterheld, H. A. (2010). Attachment working models twist memories of relationship events. Psychological Science, 21, 252-259. doi:10.1177/0956797609357175
90. Story, A. L. (1998). Self-esteem and memory for favorable and unfavorable personality feedback. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 24, 51-64. doi:10.1177/0146167298241004
91. Tice, D. M., Butler, J. L., Muraven, M. B., & Stillwell, A. M. (1995). When modesty prevails: Differential favorability of self-presentation to friends and strangers. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 69, 1120- 1138. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.69.6.1120
92. Wieselquist, J., Rusbult, C. E., Foster, C. A., & Agnew, C. R. (1999). Commitment, pro-relationship behavior, and trust in close relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77, 942-966. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.77.5.942
93. Williamson, G. M., & Clark, M. S. (1992). Impact of desired relationship type on affective reactions to choosing and being required to help. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 18, 10-18. doi:10.1177/ 0146167292181002
94. Yoo, S. H., Clark, M. S., Lemay, E. P., Jr., Salovey, P., & Monin, J. K. (2011). Responding to partners' expression of anger: The role of communal motivation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 37, 229- 241. doi:10.1177/0146167210394205