"You're bugging me!": Complaints and criticism from a partner

The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication: Second Edition

Volumn , Issue , 2007, Pages 143-168

  Cupach, William R ^a  

^a ILLINOIS STATE UNIVERSITY   (United States)

Author keywords

[No Author keywords available]

Indexed keywords

EID: 75649124334     PISSN: None     EISSN: None     Source Type: Book    
DOI: 10.4324/9780203936849     Document Type: Chapter

References (100)

1. Afifi, W. A., & Metts, S. (1998). Characteristics and consequences of expectation violations in close relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 15, 365-393.
2. Alberts, J. K. (1988). An analysis of couples' conversational complaints. Communication Monographs, 55, 184-197.
3. Alberts, J. K. (1989a) A descriptive taxonomy of couples' complaint interactions. The Southern Communication Journal, 54, 125-143.
4. Alberts, J. K. (1989b). Perceived effectiveness of couples' conversational complaints. Communication Studies, 40, 280-291.
5. Alberts, J. K., & Driscoll, G. (1992). Containment versus escalation: The trajectory of couples' conversational complaints. Western Journal of Communication, 56, 394-412.
6. Alicke, M. D., Braun, J. C., Glor, J. E., Klotz, M. L., Magee, J., Sederholm, H., et al. (1992). Complaining behaviors in social interaction. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 18, 286-295.
7. Argyle, M., & Furnham, A. (1983). Sources of satisfaction and conflict in long-term relationships. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 45, 481-493.
8. Argyle, M., & Henderson, M. (1993). The rules of friendship. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 1, 211-237.
9. Baldwin, M. W. (1992). Relational schemas and the processing of social information. Psychological Bulletin, 112, 461-484.
10. Baron, R. A. (1989). Negative effects of destructive criticism: Impact on conflict, selfefficacy, and task performance. In M. A. Rahim (Ed.), Managing conflict: An interdisciplinary approach (pp. 21-31). New York: Praeger.
11. Baxter, L. A. (1986). Gender differences in the heterosexual relationship rules embedded in break-up accounts. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 3, 289-306.
12. Baxter, L. A., & Wilmot, W. W. (1984). "Secret tests": Strategies for acquiring information about the state of the relationship. Human Communication Research, 11, 171-201.
13. Bell, R. A., & Buerkel-Rothfuss, N. L. (1990). S(he) loves me, s(he) loves me not: Predictors of relational information-seeking in courtship and beyond. Communication Quarterly, 38, 64-82.
14. Braaten, D. O., Cody, M. J., & DeTienne, K. B. (1993). Account episodes in organizations: Remedial work and impression management. Management Communication Quarterly, 6, 219-250.
15. Brown, P., & Levinson, S. (1987). Politeness: Some universals in language usage. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.
16. Canary, D. J., & Spitzberg, B. H. (1989). A model of the perceived competence of conflict strategies. Human Communication Research, 15, 630-649.
17. Carson, C. L., & Cupach, W. R. (2000). Facing corrections in the workplace: The influence of perceived face threat on the consequences of managerial reproaches. Journal of Applied Communication Research, 28, 215-234.
18. Caughlin, J. P., & Huston, T. L. (2002). A contextual analysis of the association between demand/withdraw and marital satisfaction. Personal Relationships, 9, 95-119.
19. Caughlin, J. P., & Ramey, M. E. (2005). The demand/withdraw pattern of communication in parent-adolescent dyads. Personal Relationships, 12, 337-355.
20. Caughlin, J. P., & Vangelisti, A. L. (2000). An individual difference explanation of why married couples engage in the demand/withdraw pattern of conflict. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17, 523-551.
21. Christensen, A., & Heavey, C. L. (1990). Gender and social structure in the demand/withdraw pattern of marital conflict. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59, 73-81.
22. Cloven, D. H., & Roloff, M. E. (1991). Sense-making activities and interpersonal conflict: Communicative cures for the mulling blues. Western Journal of Speech Communication, 55, 134-158.
23. Cloven, D. H., & Roloff, M. E. (1993). The chilling effect of aggressive potential on the expression of complaints in intimate relationships. Communication Monographs, 60, 199-219.
24. Cloven, D. H., & Roloff, M. E. (1994). A developmental model of decisions to withhold relational irritations in romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 1, 143-164.
25. Cody, M. J., & Braaten, D. O. (1992). The social-interactive aspects of account-giving. In M. L. McLaughlin, M. J. Cody, & S. J. Read (Eds.), Explaining one's self to others: Reason-giving in a social context (pp. 225-243). Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
26. Cody, M. J., & McLaughlin, M. L. (1985). Models for the sequential construction of accounting episodes: Situational and interactional constraints on message selection and evaluation. In R. L. Street & J. N. Cappella (Eds.), Sequence and pattern in communicative behavior (pp. 50-69). Baltimore: Edward Arnold.
27. Cupach, W. R., & Carson, C. L. (2001, November). Face-threat sensitivity: The role of personality in explaining the aversive consequences of interpersonal criticism. Paper presented at the National Communication Association convention, Atlanta, GA.
28. Cupach, W. R., & Carson, C. L. (2002). Characteristics and consequences of interpersonal complaints associated with perceived face threat. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 19, 443-462.
29. Cupach, W. R., & Messman, S. J. (1999). Face predilections and friendship solidarity. Communication Reports, 12, 13-19.
30. Cupach, W. R., & Metts, S. (1994). Facework. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
31. Cupach, W. R., Metts, S., & Lamb, E. (2003, February). Antecedents and consequences of interpersonal criticism: A face theory approach. Paper presented at the Western States Communication Association convention, Salt Lake City, UT.
32. Dallinger, J. M., & Hample, D. (1995). Personalizing and managing conflict. International Journal of Conflict Management, 6, 273-289.
33. Downey, G., & Feldman, S. I. (1996). Implications of rejection sensitivity for intimate relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70, 1327-1343.
34. Downey, G., Feldman, S., & Ayduk, O. (2000). Rejection sensitivity and male violence in romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 7, 45-61.
35. Erbert, L. A., & Floyd, K. (2004). Affectionate expressions as face-threatening acts: Receiver assessments. Communication Studies, 55, 254-270.
36. Feeney, J. A. (2004). Hurt feelings in couple relationships: Towards integrative models of the negative effects of hurtful events. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 21, 487-508.
37. Feldman, S., & Downey, G. (1994). Rejection sensitivity as a mediator of the impact of childhood exposure to family violence on adult attachment behavior. Development and Psychopathology, 6, 231-247.
38. Fitzpatrick, M. A. (1988a). Between husbands and wives: Communication in marriage. Newbury Park, CA: Sage.
39. Fitzpatrick, M. A. (1988b). Negotiation, problem solving and conflict in various types of marriages. In P. Noller & M. A. Fitzpatrick (Eds.), Perspectives on marital interaction (pp. 245-270). Philadelphia: Multilingual Matters.
40. Fitzpatrick, M. A., Fallis, S., & Vance, L. (1982). Multifunctional coding of conflict resolution strategies in marital dyads. Family Relations, 31, 61-70.
41. Fitzpatrick, M. A., & Winke, T. (1979). You always hurt the one you love: Strategies and tactics in interpersonal conflict. Communication Quarterly, 27, 3-11.
42. Goffman, E. (1967). Interaction ritual: Essays on face-to-face behavior. New York: Pantheon.
43. Gottman, J. M. (1994). What predicts divorce? The relationship between marital processes and marital outcomes. Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
44. Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (2000). The timing of divorce: Predicting when a couple will divorce over a 14-year period. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 62, 737-745.
45. Hample, D. (1999). The life space of personalized conflicts. In M. E. Roloff (Ed.), Communication yearbook 22 (pp. 171-207). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
46. Hample, D., & Dallinger, J. M. (1995). A Lewinian perspective on taking conflict personally: Revision, refinement, and validation of the instrument. Communication Quarterly, 43, 297-319.
47. Heavey, C. L., Christensen, A., & Malamuth, N. M. (1995). The longitudinal impact of demand and withdrawal during marital conflict. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 63, 797-801.
48. Jones, W. H., Moore, D. S., Schratter, A., & Negel, L. A. (2001). Interpersonal transgressions and betrayals. In R. M. Kowalski (Ed.), Behaving badly: Aversive behavior in interpersonal relationships (pp. 233-255). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
49. Kowalski, R. M. (1996). Complaints and complaining: Functions, antecedents, and consequences. Psychological Bulletin, 119, 179-196.
50. Kowalski, R. M. (2002). Whining, griping, and complaining: Positivity in the negativity. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58, 1023-1035.
51. Kowalski, R. M. (2003). Complaining, teasing, and other annoying behaviors. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
52. Kowalski, R. M., & Cantrell, C. C. (2002). Intrapersonal and interpersonal consequences of complaints. Representative Research in Social Psychology, 26, 26-33.
53. Kowalski, R. M., & Erickson, J. R. (1997). Complaining: What's all the fuss about? In R. M. Kowalski (Ed.), Aversive interpersonal behaviors (pp. 91-110). New York: Plenum.
54. Kurdek, L. A. (1994). Areas of conflict for gay, lesbian, and heterosexual couples: What couples argue about influences relationship satisfaction. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 56, 923-934.
55. Laforest, M. (2002). Scenes of family life: Complaining in everyday conversation. Journal of Pragmatics, 34, 1595-1620.
56. Leary, M. R. (2001). Toward a conceptualization of interpersonal rejection. In M. R. Leary (Ed.), Interpersonal rejection (pp. 3-20). Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press.
57. Leary, M. R., & Springer, C. A. (2001). Hurt feelings: The neglected emotion. In R. Kowalski (Ed.), Behaving badly: Aversive behaviors in interpersonal relationships (pp. 151-175). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
58. Leary, M. R., Springer, C., Negel, L., Ansell, E., & Evans, K. (1998). The causes, phenomenology, and consequences of hurt feelings. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 1225-1237.
59. Leung, K., Su, S., & Morris, M. W. (2001). When is criticism not constructive? The roles of fairness perceptions and dispositional attributions in employee acceptance of critical supervisory feedback. Human Relations, 54, 1155-1187.
60. Levy, S. R., Ayduk, O., & Downey, G. (2001). The role of rejection sensitivity in people's relationships with significant others and valued social groups. In M. R. Leary (Ed.), Interpersonal rejection (pp. 251-289). Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press.
61. Lim, T.-S. (1994). Facework and interpersonal relationships. In S. Ting-Toomey (Ed.), The challenge of facework: Cross-cultural and interpersonal issues (pp. 209-229). New York: State University of New York Press.
62. Lim, T.-S., & Bowers, J. W. (1991). Facework: Solidarity, approbation, and tact. Human Communication Research, 17, 415-450.
63. Makoul, G., & Roloff, M. E. (1998). The role of efficacy and outcome expectations in the decision to withhold relational complaints. Communication Research, 25, 5-29.
64. McGonagle, K. A., Kessler, R. C., & Gotlib, I. H. (1993). The effects of marital disagreement style, frequency, and outcome on marital disruption. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 10, 385-404.
65. McLaughlin, M. L., Cody, M. J., & O'Hair, H. D. (1983). The management of failure events: Some contextual determinants of accounting behavior. Human Communication Research, 9, 208-224.
66. Messman, S. J., & Canary, D. J. (1998). Patterns of conflict in personal relationships. In B. H. Spitzberg & W. R. Cupach (Eds.), The dark side of close relationships (pp. 121-152). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
67. Metts, S. (1994). Relational transgressions. In W. R. Cupach & B. H. Spitzberg (Eds.), The dark side of interpersonal communication (pp. 217-239). Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
68. Metts, S. (2000). Face and facework: Implications for the study of personal relationships. In K. Dindia & S. Duck (Eds.), Communication and personal relationships (pp. 77-93). Chichester, UK: Wiley.
69. Morris, G. H. (1988). Finding fault. Journal of Language and Social Psychology, 7, 1-25.
70. Newell, S. E., & Stutman, R. K. (1988). The social confrontation episode. Communication Monographs, 55, 266-285.
71. Newell, S. E., & Stutman, R. K. (1991). The episodic nature of social confrontation. In J. A. Anderson (Ed.), Communication yearbook 14 (pp. 359-392). Newbury Park, CA: Sage.
72. Peterson, D. R. (1983). Conflict. In H. H. Kelley, E. Berscheid, A. Christensen, J. H. Harvey, T. L. Huston, G. Levinger, et al. (Eds.), Close relationships (pp. 360-396). New York: Freeman.
73. Pike, G. R., & Sillars, A. L. (1985). Reciprocity of marital communication. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2, 303-324.
74. Planalp, S. (1987). Interplay between relational knowledge and events. In R. Burnett, P. McGhee, & D. Clarke (Eds.), Accounting for relationships: Explanation, representation and knowledge (pp. 175-191). London: Methuen.
75. Rands, M., Levinger, G., & Mellinger, G. D. (1981). Patterns of conflict resolution and marital satisfaction. Journal of Family Issues, 2, 297-321.
76. Roloff, M. E., & Cloven, D. H. (1990). The chilling effect in interpersonal relationships: The reluctance to speak one's mind. In D. D. Cahn (Ed.), Intimates in conflict: A communication perspective (pp. 49-76). Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
77. Roloff, M. E., & Cloven, D. H. (1994). When partners transgress: Maintaining violated relationships. In D. J. Canary & L. Stafford (Eds.), Communication and relational maintenance (pp. 23-43). San Diego, CA: Academic.
78. Roloff, M. E., & Ifert, D. E. (2000). Conflict management through avoidance: Withholding complaints, suppressing arguments, and declaring topics taboo. In S. Petronio (Ed.), Balancing the secrets of private disclosures (pp. 151-164). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
79. Ruehlman, L. S., & Karoly, P. (1991). With a little flak from my friends: Development and preliminary validation of the Test of Negative Social Exchange. Psychological Assessment: A Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 3, 97-104.
80. Sackett, L. A., & Saunders, D. G. (1999). The impact of different forms of psychological abuse on battered women. Violence and Victims, 14, 105-117.
81. Samter, W., & Cupach, W. R. (1998). Friendly fire: Topical variations in conflict among sameand cross-sex friends. Communication Studies, 49, 121-138.
82. Schönbach, P. (1990). Account episodes: The management or escalation of conflict.Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.
83. Schönbach, P., & Kleibaumhüter, P. (1990). Severity of reproach and defensiveness of accounts. In M. J. Cody & M. L. McLaughlin (Eds.), The psychology of tactical communication (pp. 229-243). Clevedon, UK: Multilingual Matters.
84. Schutz, W. C. (1966). The interpersonal underworld. Palo Alto, CA: Science & Behavior Books.
85. Sillars, A. L. (1980). Attributions and communication in roommate conflicts. Communication Monographs, 47, 180-200.
86. Sillars, A., Roberts, L. J., Leonard, K. E., & Dun, T. (2000). Cognition during marital conflict: The relationship of thought and talk. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17, 479-502.
87. Solomon, D. H., Knobloch, L. K., & Fitzpatrick, M. A. (2004). Relational power, marital schema, and decisions to withhold complaints: An investigation of the chilling effect on confrontation in marriage. Communication Studies, 55, 146-167.
88. Solomon, D. H., & Samp, J. A. (1998). Power and problem appraisal: Perceptual foundations of the chilling effect in dating relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 15, 191-210.
89. Stamp, G. H., Vangelisti, A. L., & Daly, J. A. (1992). The creation of defensiveness in social interaction. Communication Quarterly, 40, 177-190.
90. Tesser, A. (1978). Self-generated attitude change. In L. Berkowitz (Ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology (Vol. 11, pp. 289-338). New York: Academic.
91. Tesser, A., & Conlee, M. C. (1975). Some effects of time and thought on attitude polarization. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 31, 262-270.
92. Tracy, K. (1990). The many faces of facework. In H. Giles & W. P. Robinson (Eds.), Handbook of language and social psychology (pp. 209-226). New York: Wiley.
93. Tracy, K., Van Dusen, D., & Robinson, S. (1987). "Good" and "bad" criticism: A descriptive analysis. Journal of Communication, 37(2), 46-59.
94. Trees, A. R., & Manusov, V. (1998). Managing face concerns in criticism: Integrating nonverbal behaviors as a dimension of politeness in female friendship dyads. Human Communication Research, 24, 564-583.
95. Trosborg, A. (1995). Interlanguage pragmatics: Requests, complaints and apologies. New York: Mouton de Gruyter.
96. Vangelisti, A. L. (2001). Making sense of hurtful interactions in close relationships. In V. Manusov & J. H. Harvey (Eds.), Attribution, communication behavior, and close relationships (pp. 38-58). Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.
97. Vangelisti, A. L., & Young, S. L. (2000). When words hurt: The effects of perceived intentionality on interpersonal relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 17, 393-424.
98. White, J. B., Tynan, R., Galinsky, A. D., & Thompson, L. (2004). Face threat sensitivity in negotiation: Roadblock to agreement and joint gain. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 94, 102-124.
99. Witteman, H. (1992). Analyzing interpersonal conflict: Nature of awareness, type of initiating event, situational perceptions, and management styles. Western Journal of Communication, 56, 248-280.
100. Young, S. L. (2004). Factors that influence recipients' appraisals of hurtful communication. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 21, 291-303.