When words hurt: The effects of perceived intentionality on interpersonal relationships

Journal of Social and Personal Relationships

Volumn 17, Issue 3, 2000, Pages 393-424

  Vangelisti, Anita L ^a   Young, Stacy L ^a  

^a UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS AT AUSTIN   (United States)

Author keywords

Disregard; Distancing; Hurt; Intentionality

Indexed keywords

EID: 0034348518     PISSN: 02654075     EISSN: None     Source Type: Journal    
DOI: 10.1177/0265407500173005     Document Type: Article

References (61)

1. Averill, J. R. (1980). A constructivist view of emotion. In R. Plutchik & H. Kellerman (Eds.), Theories of emotion (Vol. 1, pp. 305-339). New York: Academic Press.
2. Baxter, L. A., & Montgomery, B. (1996). Relating: Dialogues and dialectics. New York: Guilford Press.
3. Baumeister, R. F., Stillwell, A., & Heatherton, T. F. (1994). Guilt: An interpersonal approach. Psychological Bulletin, 115, 243-267.
4. Bowlby, J. (1980). Attachment and loss: Vol. 3: Loss, sadness, and depression. New York: Basic Books.
5. Bulmer, M. (1979). Concepts in the analysis of qualitative data. Sociological Review, 27, 651-677.
6. Clark, M. S., & Grote, N. K. (1998). Why aren't indices of relationship costs always negatively related to indices of relationship quality? Personality and Social Psychology Review, 2, 2-17.
7. Cuber, J., & Harroff, P. (1965). The significant Americans. New York: Van Rees.
8. de Rivera, J. (1981). The structure of anger. In J. de Rivera (Ed.), Conceptual encounter: A method for the exploration of hitman experience (pp. 35-81). Washington, DC: University Press of America.
9. de Rivera, J., & Grinkis, C. (1986). Emotions in social relationships. Motivation and Emotion, 10, 351-369.
10. Duck, S. (1994). Meaningful relationships: Talking, sensing, and relating. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
11. Fincham, F. D. (1985). Attributions in close relationships. In J. Harvey & G. Weary (Eds.), Attribution: Basic issues and applications (pp. 203-234). New York: Academic Press.
12. Fincham, F. D., Beach, S. R., & Baucom, D. H. (1987). Attribution processes in distressed and nondistressed couples: 4. Self-partner attribution differences. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 739-748.
13. Fincham, F. D., & Bradbury, T. N. (1987a). Cognitive processes and conflict in close relationships: An attribution-efficacy model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 53, 1106-1118.
14. Fincham, F. D., & Bradbury, T. N. (1987b). The assessment of marital quality: A re-evaluation. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 49, 797-810.
15. Folkes, V. S. (1982). Communicating the causes of social rejection. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 18, 235-252.
16. Frijda, N. H. (1986). The emotions. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.
17. Frijda, N. H., Kuipers, P., & ter Schure, E. (1989). Relations among emotion, appraisal, and emotional action readiness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 57, 212-228.
18. Gottman, J. M. (1979). Marital interaction: Experimental investigations. New York: Academic Press.
19. Gottman, J. M. (1994). What predicts divorce: The relationship between marital processes and marital outcomes. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
20. Gray, J. A. (1987). The psychology of fear and stress (2nd ed.). New York: Cambridge University Press.
21. Grigg, F., Fletcher, G. J. O., & Fitness, J. (1989). Spontaneous attributions in happy and unhappy dating relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 6, 61-68.
22. Guetzkow, H. (1950). Unitizing and categorizing problems in coding qualitative data. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 6, 47-58.
23. Heider, F. (1958). The psychology of interpersonal relations. New York: Wiley.
24. Helgeson, V. S., Shaver, P., & Dyer, M. (1987). Prototypes of intimacy and distance in same-sex and opposite-sex relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 4, 195-233.
25. Holtzworth-Munroe, A., & Jacobson, N. S. (1985), Causal attributions of married couples: When do they search for causes? What do they conclude when they do? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 48, 1398-1412.
26. Horney, K. (1945). Our inner conflicts: A constructive theory of neurosis. New York: Norton.
27. Huston, T. L., McHale, S. M., & Crouler, A. C. (1986). When the honeymoon's over: Changes in the marriage relationship over the first year. In R. Gilmour & S. Duck (Eds.), The emerging field of personal relationships (pp. 109-132). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
28. Jones, W. H., Kugler, K., & Adams, P. (1995). You always hurt the one you love: Guilt and transgressions against relationship partners. In J. P. Tangney & K. W. Fischer (Eds.), Self-conscious emotions: The psychology of shame, guilt, embarrassment, and pride (pp. 301-321). New York: Guilford Press.
29. Kelly, A. E., & McKillop, K. J. (1996). Consequences of revealing personal secrets. Psychological Bulletin, 120, 450-465.
30. Kelvin, P. (1977). Predictability, power, and vulnerability in interpersonal attraction. In S. Duck (Ed.), Theory and practice in interpersonal attraction (pp. 355-378). New York: Academic Press.
31. Knapp, M. L., Ellis, D. G., & Williams, B. A. (1980). Perceptions of communication behavior associated with relationship terms. Communication Monographs, 47, 262-278.
32. Knobloch, L. K., & Solomon, D. H. (1999, May). Responses to changes in relational certainty and uncertainty in dating relationships: Emotions and communication strategies. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the International Communication Association, San Francisco, CA.
33. Kreilkamp, T. (1981). Psychological distance. In J. de Rivera (Ed.), Conceptual encounter: A method for the exploration of human experience (pp. 273-341). Washington, DC: University Press of America.
34. L'Abate, L. (1977). Intimacy is sharing hurt feelings: A reply to David Mace. Journal of Marriage and Family Counseling, 3, 13-16.
35. Lazarus, R. S. (1991). Emotion and adaptation. New York: Oxford University Press.
36. Leary, M. R., Springer, C. Negel, L., Ansell, E., & Evans, K. (1998). The causes, phenomenology, and consequences of hurt feelings. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 1225-1237.
37. Lomore, C. D., & Holmes, J. G. (1999, June). The buffering effects of positive illusions and feelings of perceived regard on victim's evaluations of transgressions. Paper presented at the annual meeting of the International Network on Personal Relationships. Louisville, KY.
38. Malle, B. F., & Knobe, J. (1997). The folk concept of intentionality. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 33, 101-121.
39. Mandler G. (1975). Mind and emotion. New York: Wiley.
40. Metis, S. M., & Bowers, J. W. (1994). Emotion in interpersonal communication. In M. L. Knapp & G. R. Miller (Eds.), Handbook of interpersonal communication (pp. 508-541). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
41. Metis, S. M., & Cupach, W. R. (1989). Situational influence on the use of remedial strategies in embarrassing predicaments. Communication Monographs, 56, 151-162.
42. Mells, S. M., Sprecher, S., & Cupach, W. R. (1991). Retrospective self-reports. In B. M. Montgomery & S. Duck (Eds.), Studying interpersonal interaction (pp. 162-178). New York: Guilford Press.
43. Murray, S. L., Holmes, J. G., MacDonald, G., & Ellsworlh, P. C. (1998). Through the looking glass darkly? When self-douhls turn into relationship insecurities. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75, 1459-1480.
44. Noller, P., & Fitzpatrick, M. A. (1990). Marital communication in the eighties. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 52, 832-843.
45. Norton, R. (1983). Measuring marital quality: A critical look at the dependent variable. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 45, 141-151.
46. Oatley, K. (1992). Best laid schemes: The psychology of emotions. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.
47. Ortony, A., Clore, G. L., & Collins, A. (1988). The cognitive structure of emotions. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.
48. Orvis, B. R., Kelley, H. H., & Butler, D. (1976). Attributional conflict in young couples. In J. H. Harvey, W. J. Ickes, & R. F. Kidd (Eds.). New directions in attribution research (Vol. 1. pp. 353-386). New York: Wiley.
49. Parkinson, B. (1997). Untangling the appraisal-emotion connection. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 1, 62-79.
50. Planalp, S. (1998). Communicating emotion in everyday life: Cues, channels, and processes. In P. A. Andersen & L. K. Guerrero (Eds.), Handbook of communication and emotion (pp. 29-48). San Diego, CA: Academic Press.
51. Rutter, M. (1979). Maternal deprivation, 1972-1978: New findings, new concepts, new approaches. Child Development, 50, 283-305.
52. Scherer, K. R. (1984). Emotion as a multicomponent process: A model and some cross-cultural data. In P. Shaver (Ed.), Review of personality and social psychology: Vol. 5. Emotion, relationships, and health (pp. 37-63). Beverly Hills, CA: Sage.
53. Shaver, P., Schwartz, J., Kirson, D., & O'Connor, O. (1987). Emotion knowledge: Further exploration of a prototype approach. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 1061-1086.
54. Sillars, A. L., & Scott, M. D. (1983). Interpersonal perception between intimates: An integrative review. Human Communication Research, 10, 153-176.
55. Thompson, S. C., Armstrong, W., & Thomas, C. (1998). Illusions of control, underestimations, and accuracy: A control heuristic explanation. Psychological Bulletin, 123, 143-161.
56. Vangelisti, A. L. (1994). Messages that hurt. In W. R. Cupach & B. H. Spitzberg (Eds.), The dark side of interpersonal communication (pp. 53-82). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.
57. Vangelisti, A. L., & Crumley, L. P. (1998). Reactions to messages that hurt: The influence of relational contexts. Communication Monographs, 65, 173-196.
58. Watzlawick, P., Beavin, J., & Jackson, D. (1967). Pragmatics of human communication: A study of interactional patterns, pathologies, and paradoxes. New York: Norton.
59. Weiner, B. (1986). An attributional theory of motivation and emotion. New York: Springer.
60. Weiner, B. (1995). Judgments of responsibility: A foundation for a theory of social conduct. New York: Guilford Press.
61. Weiner, B., Amirkhan, J., Folkes, V. S., & Verette, J. A. (1987). An attributional analysis of excuse giving: Studies of a naive theory of emotion. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 316-324.