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It is important not to overemphasize this point. The fact that most men want to keep their affairs secret from their wives is partly the result of the fact that husbands know there will be consequences if wives find out - consequences that the women themselves can impose. Several men and women in the study recounted the ways that women punished and curtailed men's infidelities, including withholding food, withdrawing financial support, preventing sexual access, and on much rarer occasions, publicly humiliating them or even retaliating with affairs of their own. Women are by no means powerless pawns in these modern Igbo marriages, but they have good reason to keep secrets or stay silent about their husbands' extramarital sexual behavior.
-
It is important not to overemphasize this point. The fact that most men want to keep their affairs secret from their wives is partly the result of the fact that husbands know there will be consequences if wives find out - consequences that the women themselves can impose. Several men and women in the study recounted the ways that women punished and curtailed men's infidelities, including withholding food, withdrawing financial support, preventing sexual access, and on much rarer occasions, publicly humiliating them or even retaliating with affairs of their own. Women are by no means powerless pawns in these modern Igbo marriages, but they have good reason to keep secrets or stay silent about their husbands' extramarital sexual behavior.
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-
None of the men in the marital case studies admitted to visiting brothels or patronizing commercial sex workers, perhaps an indication of the perceived moral differences between extramarital sexual relations that involve having a girlfriend and paying for a prostitute. There are, of course, numerous brothels and large numbers of sex workers in southeastern Nigeria. Given that condom use is associated with promiscuous sex and immoral partners, it is likely that condoms are more easily acceptable for sex with sex workers. As part of the study, I interviewed half a dozen sex workers in Owerri, and all of them indicated that the vast majority of their clients agreed to use condoms.
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